Celebrating Mother’s Day After Separation or Divorce – Some Helpful Tips
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are likely to be two of the most emotional days of the calendar for divorced parents. Sadly, sometimes divorced parents find themselves in a battle for time with their children on Mothers or Fathers Day. With Mother’s Day being just around the corner, think about your children and what behavior will help them have the best experience instead of turning your Mother’s Day into a power struggle, battlefield, or statement about who is the better parent. If you haven’t already provided for it, perhaps adding language that allows the children to be with their Mother on Mother’s Day and with their Father on Father’s Day would provide for the needs of the children and the parents on their special day. It is an important day for both the parent and the children. Keeping any parental conflict out of these days will allow the children to celebrate with each of you simply and less stressfully.
Dad, a few simple things to keep in mind this weekend: help your children make or buy a card and/or gift for their mother, there are so many different websites that they can get “personalisierte geschenke” (personalized gifts) for their mother, which helps them to show their appreciation for their mother, allow adequate time for your children and their mother to celebrate, and try to keep your children out of the middle by taking a mental oath to avoid all manner of conflict related to this special day. You could even choose (or help your children choose) a necklace with pendants with initial letters of the mother of your children! However, if Mothers Day doesn’t fall into the appropriate parent’s scheduled parenting time, consider adding it as a bonus day that doesn’t have to be made up. If you have remarried, be sure to reserve the primary celebration of Mother’s Day for your child’s immediate, biological (or adopted) mother. While you may want your children to be considerate and remember grandparents, stepparents or other extended family members on these days, it should not be in place of observing Mothers Day with mom.
Mom, If seeing your children is not a possibility, consider making a plan for the day and finding supportive friends and share the day with them, call your children rather than waiting for them to contact you, and don’t forget about your own parents, spend time with your mother. No matter how old you are, you are still her child and she will appreciate your time and attention. No matter what you end up doing on Mother’s Day, take a moment to pat yourself on the back because you deserve it. From all of us at The Mediation Center Inc., Happy Mother’s Day! For more information visit: www.mediationctr.com or call 585-269-8140.